Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
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