I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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