Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
