New low: just hacked my moms facebook
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
