Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
