Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
