glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
