what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
