it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
