There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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