Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
