That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
