Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
