similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize