just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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