I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
