so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i barfeds in our rink
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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