i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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