i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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