I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
