wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
