in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
