Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
