I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
