Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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