I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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