i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
