he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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