So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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