Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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