I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
