Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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