Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
