Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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