omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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