Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
