I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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