So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
