I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
