Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
