then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
