I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
