I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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