Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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