So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
