i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Randomize
