We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
