Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
