Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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