3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
