You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
