margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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