she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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