Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
We got so high we made milksteak
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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