VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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