JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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