well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
