the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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