Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Sorry my hands just texted you
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
