we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
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