In the future we'll all be gay
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
All I want is dick and wine.
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