just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
