Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
