If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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