I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
