C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
