But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
