Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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