no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he was CRYING into my vagina
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
