Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
